NEWS – Snack Bulletin

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Amazon offers a three pound bag of low-sodium, extra dark pretzels. I strongly suggest you purchase one. I have. Pretzels have always been my preferred snack. It’s true, in recent years I’ve favored the microwave popcorn (just shake a couple of tablespoons into a brown paper lunch bag and zap), initially for it’s low caloric content but then for it’s diabetes-friendly qualities. Still, it’s hard to argue – there’s nothing like the right pretzel. Ahh, but finding the right pretzel – it’s not so easy. What’s really driving my current pretzel-eating revival is the discovery of Uncle Jerry, fine purveyor of pretzels. I found Uncle Jerry browsing through the Max Delivery website (In case you’ve never used Max Delivery I recommend it without reservation – there’s a very broad selection of items they carry – including liquor – and they bring it to your door in less than 90 minutes [sometimes a lot less]). I’m eating more cheese now for the same reason. Max carries Murray’s Cheese Shop wares. A few days ago I made the conjecture that Uncle Jerry, pretzel artisan that he is, might have a salt-free version of his delicious burnt-dark pretzels and undertook to search for the same, first on Max, then on Amazon where I discovered the aforementioned three pound bag. I’m a lot less careful about the diabetes than I should be. Early in life, seven or eight years of age, I discovered, through much trial and error, the absolute most gratifying way to eat a bag of pretzels. First, don’t go for the fully intact pretzels on the top of the bag. Those are the best ones. Save them for later. Fish around on the bottom of the bag to retrieve the broken pieces of pretzels, the pretzel shards and eat those first (If you’re like me, you’ll eat the not-too-salty first, the saltier after, because I’m not a fan of the too-much-salt). If you have any spreadable cheese, the pretzel shards are a perfect cheese-delivery system. Then you go for the mostly intact pretzels, pretzels that are not complete but still have their knots, and last, the fully complete pretzel, the uber pretzel. Here is how you eat a pretzel: first thing bite off those two little crispy nipples formed by the ends of the pre-knotting pretzel rod. Next, bite off the bottom loop. What you should have now is the knot and the two pretzel-shoulders. Now, eat the shoulders sequentially, leaving nothing but a nice tight crispy knot in your fingers. Then eat the knot. There, you have completed your pretzel. Why save the knot for last? It’s the crispiest piece, that’s why. You’re biting down on this fabulous helix of crunch and the noise sends your head a-vibrating which, I believe, is why people love to crunch – the sound waves resonate the brain pan which, in turn, acts as a massage for your brain. A good pretzel you feel all the way to your scalp. Altogether, a very special experience. Now, potato chips I’ve never understood.

One Response to “NEWS – Snack Bulletin”

  1. mdnathanpreds Says:

    Love Uncle Jerry’s but sometimes Fresh Market carries “Unique” instead. Kind of a toss-up.

    https://jet.com/product/detail/93a6c916be6c49d9aa56ea42637371ac?jcmp=pla:ggl:JD_cons_Cwin_Grocery_a3:Grocery_Snack_Foods_Chips__Pretzels_a3:na:PLA_786123560_41411199312_pla-306643073403:na:na:na:2&code=PLA15

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