Paul Ryan has an envelope. It sits atop his desk. He likes to sit and look at it. Inside it are all the laws he wants to pass, laws he has always, always wished for. It has his budget. It has a plan to privatize Social Security. It has low, low, low taxes and it has a repeal of Obamacare. Paul’s been waiting a long time, eight years at least, for a call to come to open the envelope. On TV is Donald Trump. Paul hates Donald.
Donald says stupid things. He is stupid. Not like Paul. And yet, Paul wants Donald to be president because maybe, just maybe, if Donald is president, he’ll call up Paul and say, “Now. Now’s the time. I don’t know how to govern and I need you to open your envelope.” Paul knows he will never ever get that that call if Hillary is president. So he sits and watches Donald on TV and waits and waits. He hates him so much.
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