NEWS – Guess That I Just Wasn’t Made For These Times

Pet Scans are a diagnostic tool which require you to be injected with nuclear material. Rather than bestowing super powers, the material mimics sugar in your body. Tumors and lymphomas eat a lot sugar so the nuclear material is drawn to them and make them visible in a scan. In order for them to work effectively, there can not already be sugar circulating throughout and that requires that you do not eat beforehand. My colonoscopy earlier today required a cleanse which in turn required my drinking very large quantities of laxative which, as you might imagine, resulted in large and frequent defecation last night. The endoscopy yesterday required that I only have clear liquids prior to the test. The upshot of all of this is that between my delicious variety burger from Hearth Tuesday night and now I have only eaten/drunk chicken broth and jello and not a whole lot of that. So, as I lie here in the nuclear prep room, giving the material an hour to flow through all the nooks and crannies of my body, I am hungry. Really, really hungry. It’s about 3:00 now. I’ll be done with this around 4:00. Oh by the way, the colonoscopy which revealed diverticuli? They weren’t bleeding so we have still not solved the anemia issue. When I am done with this scan I will be able to eat. I will also then get a transfusion which will take a few hours. Accordingly I will be able to leave Lenox tonight at about 7:30. That means I will not make it to the May edition of the Cabinet of Wonders at City Winery where the author  of “My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist ” will be reading. Additionally, I must return to the hospital on Monday at which time I will swallow a little camera. The camera will photograph my entire GI track (or is it tract) looking for the source of the bleeding. Please get in touch if you’d like to join me for a weekend of gourmandaise  gluttony, excessive alcohol consumption and veritable clouds of marijuana smoke but only until 6:00 pm on Sunday which is when I will begin the prep for the little camera (nobody debauches  with Jolean but me).

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